Fabiola Vatel, Editorial Assistant

General Conference Stewardship Ministries

Summary: In a moment of desperation and doubt, God displays His limitless blessings and reminds the author, and us, of His sovereignty and His ability to provide and care for our every need.

As I drove to work I complained to God. ?I wish I had ... When will I ...? Why can’t I ... I’m so tired of ...? I murmured, my complaints intensifying with each passing mile. ?Lord, I’m so sick of being in need,? I whined, peering up to heaven through the dashboard. That morning I had carefully balanced my checkbook three times, hoping against hope that I had miscalculated, that miraculously more money would appear.

But it didn’t. So I complained.

I finally arrived at work, pulled into a parking space, and turned off the engine. I sat there blankly staring straight ahead. Clutching my car keys in my hand, I prayed: ?Lord, please reveal yourself to me right now because I don’t even see the point of getting out of this car. I need a word from You.?

I closed my eyes and waited.

?Those keys in your hand, who gave them to you??

My eyes flew open. ?This car? Is it Yours??

?What about this morning? How did you wake up? And your job? That was no coincidence! Do you remember the time when ...??

I shamefully listened as God revealed Himself to me—carefully, lovingly laying out all the blessings He had bestowed in my life.

Like a child of Israel, I murmured against God, forgetting how He pulled me out of Egypt, led me through the Red Sea, and fed me with manna. Like Job, I was rebuked and urged to refocus my attention on His awesome faithfulness. Like David, I exclaimed, ?What shall I render to the Lord for all of His benefits toward me?? (Ps 116:12)

Returning home that day, I pulled out my checkbook once again, carefully calculated my earnings, and thankfully wrote a check to God. It was only ten percent of His blessings. That’s all He’d asked for. I included even more as a response to His many gifts. Because I was so focused on my need, I had ignored His blessings. God removed the scales from my eyes and made me realize that my possessions are really not mine. All my springs are truly in Him (Ps 87:7).

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning (Jm 1:17).
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July–September, 2002

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